Music N' Other Drugs

“What came first, the music or the misery?”

Nick Hornby first posed that question 30 years ago in his debut novel “High Fidelity” and I still don’t think there’s a definitive answer. What I can say is that my lifelong obsession with music and writing appears to have played a role in creating the pit of despair I’ve found myself in for much of 2025 while simultaneously providing me with the catharsis necessary to eventually get out with my soul intact.

In other words, the relationship I have with music complicated the only romantic relationship that ever meant anything to me to such a degree that the love of my life walked out because she couldn’t take it anymore. Whether or not that’s true depends on the source, but perception is reality, and, sometimes, reality bites like a pit bull.

While I never claimed to be perfect, I did buy into the notion that accepting each other’s imperfections was a key component to a sustainable marriage, which was my mistake.

Many people in my situation would have turned to some form of artificial joy long ago, but not me. I don’t smoke, drink, gamble, or consume caffeine in any form. You could say that I don’t entertain vices of any kind unless you count writing and endlessly supporting one’s family as red flags, so my journey to self-reinvention is destined to be a painful one.

Tibetan Buddhist Nun Pema Chödrön said that all addictions stem from moments in which we’ve reached the edge and need something to pad the pain. If I’m truly responsible for my pain, then I want to feel its full impact without trying to manipulate the situation in my favor.

After all, I still cling to the belief that there’s nothing that a 35 pack of Poland Spring and the collective works of Jackson Browne, Warren Zevon, or Patti Smith can’t cure.

I’ve been preparing a Top 10 list for publication since I was a teenager, but the one that you’re about to read carries more weight than the others. You often hear people wax poetic about how a particular album or song propelled them through a difficult time and I can only hope that the following 10 albums have done that for me.

If Andy DuFresne can crawl through a literal river of shit and come out clean on the other side, than perhaps I can crawl through a figurative one and experience the same sense of redemption he did.

Florence and the Machine – “Everybody Scream”

Florence went through hell to make this album, so her journey resonated with me on many levels.

Willie Nile – “The Great Yellow Light”

Nile’s output since 2000 is astonishing and he deserves to be talked about as much as Goo Goo Dolls when it comes to Buffalo music royalty.

Little Feat – “Strike Up the Band”

Hearing a Little Feat album this good in 2025 gives me hope for the future.

Mammoth – The End

Wolfgang Van Halen is a natural multi-instrumentalist, but it’s his commitment to songcraft that makes “The End” his finest release yet.

The Doobie Brothers – “Walk This Road”

Having Johnston, Simmons, and McDonald together again is a recipe for success.

Between the Buried and Me – “The Blue Nowhere”

Complex, catchy, and powerful.

Glenn Hughes – “Chosen”

One of the greatest singers in rock is still crushing it in his seventies.

Cécile McLorin Salvant – “Oh Snap”

Her last stop in Buffalo was stunning, and this album has me waiting not-so-patiently for a return date.

Dream Theater – “Parasomnia”

Mike Portnoy’s long-awaited return behind the kit did not disappoint.

Ghost – “Skeleta”

I’ve been on the fence about Ghost for years, but they finally won me over.